Went in for yet another MRI this week. There are more tumors showing up along Dave's spine and one of them is really large and causing him some great discomfort and pain. He may be facing another surgery and/or radiation, possibly embolism of the large tumor and radiation on the smaller ones. At this point, we just don't know. His doctors will be conferring on Friday and we should get an answer then or on Monday, once a decision of how to proceed is made. All this waiting is nervewracking, but at least we don't have to wait for MRI results for days like at other medical facilities. My dad had a CT scan done last week and he hasn't gotten even a report from that one yet. We feel very blessed to be where we are in terms of our doctors.
On a happier note, yesterday was Dave's 50th birthday and we had a party at his mom's with his closest friends present. He didn't feel great earlier in the day and his mom, sister and I were afraid he was gonna miss his own party but it turned out great. Seems like soon as everybody started arriving, he perked right up and had a great time. Amazing how much love and friendship can affect your well being. Thanks to the guys for coming out. Of course, Dave's mom served an incredibly delicious meal, along with one her special cakes (Red Velvet..whew!) to top it off. I think a good time was had by all.
It is very hard not to think about this. It is actually impossible. I tried not to think that this might be the last birthday I would spend with Dave but the thought just would not stay out of my head. I can't imagine my life without him and it is tearing me to pieces to think that he might not be here in 6 months or a year. His doctors are careful not to place any time limits on his life, but I know that we are living on borrowed time.
It is when I have these dark thoughts that I thank the Universe that we have had such an incredible life together. I only have happy, wonderful, loving memories of the last 15 years we have been together and I could not have asked for a more loving, caring, special man to have shared my life with. This cancer is about the worst thing that could have happened to us but to quote Dave "it is what it is" and so he helps me to remember not to let it take over our lives. He tells me almost every day how lucky he is to have someone like me and I tell him the same thing. Love is like that you know. You find your strength in it.
